We won't be using the latest bleeding-edge technologies.

I won't offer you top-down, user-centered, interpersonal solutions.

There will be no leveraging, embedding, bench-marking, synergies, workflow, enhanced outcomes, paradigm shifts or core values.

Your web site will not be robust, nor will it have an ongoing positive impact on your company's productivity.

Our relationship will not be a win-win situation and no one will touch base or get the ball rolling.

Thinking will occur neither inside nor outside of any box type structure.

Under no circumstances will I serve as or help you build a business case.

What will happen is, you'll pay me and I'll make you a web site that doesn't make your visitors say, "Ew. I just threw up in my mouth." Pretty simple, eh?